I'm going to be moving very soon (which will be a rant very soon. This, I can promise.) and as I am slowly packing things away and deciding what stays and what goes, I realize I have a hell of a lot of photo albums, some of which are older than dirt. I get a total kick out of the ones from when I was in 8th grade because of the hairstyles and all of New Kids on the Block in every bedroom photo. Then there are the ones from high school in Jersey and in Miami. Again, my choice of hairstyle is my eldest daughter's constant source of amusement. And all throughout are family holidays with my parents, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends and so on. Sadly, while I'm going through said photos, I realize that so many of the people in them are no longer here.
Both of my grandmothers are no longer here and it's crazy how much I miss them for totally separate reasons. I miss my Nana Eva (my maternal grandmother0 for her loud, crazy ways. She use to cook up some great holiday meals. It was my mom's childhood apartment in the Bronx is where I spent all of my early childhood holidays. She gave the best hugs and always had them readily available when we got to her house. My Nana Anita (obviously the paternal grandmother) is who I lived with until she passed away was the party grandma. She use to throw some kick ass parties that would last until 6 the next morning. My sister and her use to have a shot of tequila before they would get into discussions. I loved that I got to live with her later in life because we became super close and my eldest had her around to do anything she wished. Our biggest two jokes with each were she was not allowed to cook while I lived there because she could not cook well to save her life and she would take my eldest (she never got to meet my baby) out with her everywhere (usually shopping) and then me upon my return home from work that I owed her money. I'd laugh because she simply did not know how to tell my daughter "no" and when I'd mention that she could simply do so, she would reply (with a heavy Spanish accent), "But why should I tell her no?"
My great-grandmother (maternal) is in a lot of early pictures. We grew up in the same building that she lived in until she became to senile to live alone and went to live with my Aunt Erika. She was a stern but loving woman who spoke very little English (she was from Hungary) and help my young parents raise me. Again, I don't know if it's the Hungarian in them but she had the best hugs. And her little apartment on the 5th floor was always sunny. She use to keep sugar cubes for her tea in a little glass bowl on her table that we use to eat like candy. In her cabinet, she had a drawer that we always knew had the cookies we liked as kids. She use to crochet beautifully and she's the one who taught me how to do so.
My Uncle Andy (maternal) was the biggest trip. He use to introduce himself as "Uncle Andy" to anyone he met. We became close the years he lived down here in Florida. He use to come out and party with all of us and all of our friends knew and loved him. He was one of my mom's older brother and he and my dad had been like brothers. My Uncle Andy had been sick for almost 10 years with cancer, cirrhosis of the liver, Hepatitis among other things. Every time he ended up in the hospital and supposedly on his deathbed, the family would get together and he wold pull through. The doctors couldn't even explain it. I remember walking into the hospital one time and yelling at him, "What the hell are you still doing alive? Die, already! You're making everyone cry and you're still freaking living!" He would laugh at me and say, "You're such a bitch but I love you." That was the kind of relationship we had.
Multiple friends have already gone as well. Johanna passed away right before I was to turn 21 in a car accident. My best friend Diego was killed in his own home when I was 29. My best friend Lone died of an overdose July 4th of 2009, right before my youngest was born. I miss him so much. He was the one person who I could count on for endless things. We had known each other the longest. We grew up togetehr in the same neighborhood in NY. There would be nights I would be home bored and by myself just wanting company and he would show up with a six pack a movie and munchies and we would fall asleep in the middle of the movie. Never failed. Then lastly, Jeremy passed away one month after our daughter was born from the the combination of the OTC medication he was taking for a cold and the prescription medication he was taking for his shoulder. Life's not fair in a lot of ways.
Last but definitely not least, is my dad. He passed away 2 weeks before my 31st birthday. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him or talk out loud to him. I was a Daddy's Girl completely. He just got me and was the buffer between me and my mom. He was happy go lucky and always laughing. The movie Animal House always reminds me of him. Everyone from his friends, family and all of our friends all had a story about my dad that started with "One night, your father and I were out drinking and..." and the hilarity would ensue. I still get chocked up when I think about him or hear a song that reminds me of him. That's what this song is about. He loved this song. While driving to work this morning, I was thinking about him and all the others and this song came on on a station that would not normally play it. All I could do was look up at the rising sun and blue skies between the rain clouds and say, "Hi Dad."
