Friday, June 29, 2012

Falling in Love

I know I have a serious problem romantising every thing that could or could not be possible happening in my so-called love life.  I think I'm more in love with the idea of being in love than actually doing it.  I can sit and daydream for hours about possible scenarios with any number of guys that have crossed my path.  I know love is something I really want but I have absolutely no clue on how to get it. I have the emotional maturity of a pre-pubescent 12 year old boy.  I don't like talking about my feelings.  I'm not very touchy-feeley.  I prefer taking care of arguments with sex because, really, who can still be mad after a mind blowing orgasm?  I don't mind alone time.  You want to go out with your friends?  Sure, go ahead!  I don't need to be attached to someone every hour of the day.  Unfortunately, this has led to most of the guys I've ever seriously dated to cheat on me and I have to wonder if it's because I come off as so freaking aloof.  I don't mean to be.  I know I have a hard time putting things into words but I find it much easier to write a letter to explain myself.  But, I do want that waking up to the same man every morning.  I want silly conversations over nothing in particular.  I want to cook for someone other than my kids.  I want those quiet moments you can have with a significant other.  I want someone who looks at me and smiles.  I want someone who will debate with me (loudly) and know it's not a fight.  I want someone to get me birthday presents.  I want someone to get birthday presents for.  I want someone to be around when I can't dance anymore but will laugh with me about the times we did.  Now, if I can only figure out how to do it...

Thursday, June 21, 2012

You know...

...how something happens that you would have never expected and it turned out to be the best you have done in a really long time but you have the need to quiet down the smiling giggles because you just know you're not suppose to want it since it's not going to be around for much longer yet you can't help having daydreams and wonder if things have come full circle or if you even believe in things like that because you're a (supposed) grown up now and grown ups don't believe in fairy tales any more but you can't help but feel this thing and you're not quite sure how to describe except that it feels like coming home and it shouldn't make any sense yet it does in so many ways that you're child-like self is telling "yes" but reality keeps barking "no" and you're just not sure how you should even act the next time you come together that you're beginning to feel silly about it all but you still want to smile?  Does that even make any sense?

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

My Correspondence with Cracked.com

I love the site Cracked.com.  It's hilarious.  But, after reading an article on renegade nuns (seriously!), there was a huge ad for defund Planned Parenthood.  I wasn't happy about this.  I really didn't feel that a satire site that generally makes fun of politics shouldn't take sides one way or another.  And, it wasn't as if they had a similar ad for any pro-choice group.  I looked.  Well, this is the response I got back - 


Your email to cracked.com
Inbox
x

Oren Katzeff Oren@demandmedia.com
2:57 PM (23 hours ago)
to me
Thanks for emailing us about the ad to defund Planned Parenthood that you saw on our site. As you can probably imagine, we have deals with a handful of ad exchanges and there are literally hundreds of different "partners" that advertise on Cracked on a daily basis. We sometimes have to rely on passionate fans such as yourself to alert us of this kind of ad abuse. We definitely do not support it and have our entire ad team tasked with removing those ads from the site.

Thanks for your continued support-
Oren
(Im the SVP and GM of the site. Traveling today, which is why you are getting this from my mobile device).


Sent from my iPhone



He's my new favorite person of the moment.  Proof that if you at least say what is making you unhappy, someone somewhere might do something to change it.

Just Fine



Yes, Ms. Blige, I will be just fine.  I'm doing what I need to do to get where I'm going.  Life's good.  Got those butterflies and daydreams again.  Fitting into the clothes I want to again.  I'm smiling more again.  Let's dance and do this!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

50 Lessons in Parenting Young Kids


1. Super glue has no place in a house with young children.
2. Neither do Sharpies.
3. There is no such thing as allowing your kid to play with your phone "just once."
4. Don't use Google to diagnose illnesses. Ever.
5. Dollar store toys cost far more than a dollar in frustration, anguish and regret.
6. The terrible twos are bullshit. The terribleness lasts through at least age 4. Or, forever.
7. Always carry wipes, long after diaper wearing has ended.
8. Resist purchasing character Bandaids, unless you're prepared to buy a box a week.
9. You can never have too many Goldfish. The crackers, not the live ones.
10. Don't buy bunk beds, unless you have absolutely no choice.
11. Keep track of who gave what at birthday parties.
12. Never stock batteries in your house, or you will be forced to make obnoxiously loud toys work once again.
13. Buy Mr. Clean Erasers in bulk.
14. Backup all photos. Better yet, print them.
15. Look in the oven before you turn it on.
16. There is no point in making beds.
17. Accept the fact that you will turn into your mother.
18. Always check pockets before washing clothes.
20. Take more video.
21. Daily baths are overrated.
22. Find young babysitters and groom them. The less attractive, the better.
23. Always have ample one dollar bills on hand for lost teeth and bribery.
24. Carry plenty of emergency snacks in the car.
25. Keep expensive cosmetics out of arm's reach. Arm's reach, on a stool and tippy toes.
26. The 4-year-old check-up is brutal.
27. Look before you sit down to pee.
28. Train your children to clean up all Legos before bed, knowing that nothing is more painful than stepping on a Lego with a bare foot at midnight.
29. Save "no" for when it really matters.
30. Over-apply sunscreen.
31. Practice caution when approaching that stray raisin on the floor. It's probably not a raisin.
32. Never pay full price for kids' clothes. They always go on sale and the expensive ones inevitably get ruined first.
33. There's a reason why people surprise their kids with trips to Disney: Their anticipation may kill you.
34. Don't take their word for it when children say they don't need to pee before leaving the house.
35. Lock your bedroom door.
36. And, your bathroom one.
37. Never open a can of soda handed to you by a child.
38. Walk away from temper tantrums. Or, record them for future enjoyment.
39. Upset as you may be, hair grows back.
40. But, not on Barbie dolls, so hide the scissors.
41. Never buy more than two pairs of shoes at once. Their feet will inevitably grow once you do.
42. No matter how hard they promise, kids will never walk that puppy as much as you hoped.
43. Give away the books you can't stand reading.
44. No child went to college with a pacifier.
45. Don't buy any toy that is meant to come apart, unless they can put it back together themselves.
46. Keep a well-hidden stock of lollipops.
47. Don't allow Play-Doh on carpets. Or, indoors, for that matter.
48. TV won't really turn their brains to mush.
49. A bathroom in a house with boys will never smell clean.

10 Things I Want My Daughter To Know


Lindsey Mead Russell

GET UPDATES FROM LINDSEY MEAD RUSSELL

10 Things I Want My Daughter To Know Before She Turns 10

Posted: 06/05/2012 12:10 pm

Grace is rounding the curve to ten.  I am not sure how this is possible. I feel ever more aware of her girlhood and looming adolescence, and of all the things I want her to know, as if I could somehow instill values and beliefs into her, like pressing a penny into soft clay.  I know I can't; the best I can do is to keep saying them, keep writing them, keep living them.
Ten things I want my 10-year-old daughter to know:
1. It is not your job to keep the people you love happy.  Not me, not Daddy, not your brother, not your friends.  I promise, it's not.  The hard truth is that you can't, anyway.
2. Your physical fearlessness is a strength. Please continue using your body in the world: run, jump, climb, throw.  I love watching you streaking down the soccer field, or swinging proudly along a row of monkey bars, or climbing into the high branches of a tree.  There is both health and a sense of mastery in physical activity and challenges.
3. You should never be afraid to share your passions. You are sometimes embarrassed that you still like to play with dolls, for example, and you worry that your friends will make fun of you.  Anyone who teases you for what you love to do is not a true friend.  This is hard to realize, but essential.
4. It is okay to disagree with me, and others. You are old enough to have a point of view, and I want to hear it.  So do those who love you.  Don't pick fights for the sake of it, of course, but when you really feel I'm wrong, please say so.  You have heard me say that you are right, and you've heard me apologize for my behavior or point of view when I realize they were wrong.  Your perspective is both valid and valuable.  Don't shy away from expressing it.
5. You are so very beautiful. Your face now holds the baby you were and the young woman you are rapidly becoming.  My eyes and cleft chin and your father's coloring combine into someone unique, someone purely you.  I can see the clouds of society's beauty myth hovering, manifest in your own growing self-consciousness.  I beg of you not to lose sight with your own beauty, so much of which comes from the fact that your spirit runs so close to the surface.
6. Reading is essential.  It is the central leisure-time joy of my life, as you know.  I am immensely proud and pleased to see that you seem to share it.  That identification you feel with characters, that sense of slipping into another world, of getting lost there in the best possible way?  Those never go away.  Welcome.
7. You are not me. We are very alike, but you are your own person, entirely, completely, fully.  I know this, I promise, even when I lose sight of it.  I know that separation from me is one of the fundamental tasks of your adolescence, which I can see glinting over the horizon.  I dread it like ice in my stomach, that space, that distance, that essential cleaving, but I want you to know I know how vital it is.  I'm going to be here, no matter what, Grace.  The red string that ties us together will stretch.  I know it will.  And once the transition is accomplished there will be a new, even better closeness.  I know that too.
8. It is almost never about you. What I mean is that when people act in a way that hurts or makes you feel insecure, it is almost certainly about something happening inside of them, and not about you.  I struggle with this one mightily, and I have tried very, very hard never once to tell you you are being "too sensitive" or to "get over it" when you feel hurt.  Believe me, I know how feelings can slice your heart, even if your head knows otherwise.  But maybe, just maybe, it will help to remember that almost always other people are struggling with their own demons, even if they bump into you by accident.
9. There is no single person who can be your everything. Be very careful about bestowing this power on any one person.  I suspect you are trying to fill a gnawing loneliness, and if you are you inherited it from me.  That feeling, Woolf's "emptiness about the heart of life," is just part of the deal.  Trying to fill that ache with other people (or with anything else, like food, alcohol, numbing behaviors of a zillion sorts you don't even know of yet) is a lost cause, and nobody will be up to the task.  You will feel let down, and, worse, that loneliness will be there no matter what.  I'm learning to embrace it, to accept it as part of who I am.  I hope to help you do the same.
10. I am trying my best.  I know I'm not good enough and not the mother you deserve.  I am impatient and fallible and I raise my voice.  I am sorry.  I love you and your brother more than I love anyone else in the entire world and I always wish I could be better for you.  I'll admit I don't always love your behavior, and I'm quick to tell you that.  But every single day, I love you with every fiber of my being.  No matter what.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Diapers & Daisies: Rules for Mothers of Daughters.

Diapers & Daisies: Rules for Mothers of Daughters.: I recently came across Team Studer , one of my now-favorite blogs. Tabitha has an insane way of making any word or concept beautiful. After ...

Crazy

One would think I would learn to stay away from crazy but I just can't help myself.  From the moment he came into view, my body answered.  Of course, you never know what could happen but what I know will happen makes it okay in my book. lol  So much for progress...