Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Friends and Music


http://youtu.be/Mkgq6u7YAA0

Let's call him "Old School"

Just to give you a brief history of Old School and I, we met when we were both 21 and working at a call center and I was the end of a year long relationship that just wasn't working out and I couldn't figure out how to end.  Old School is and always has been your typical cocky asshole with a quick smile and sarcastic sense of humor.  We had mutual friends outside of work and started hanging out.  There was always sexual tension between the 2 of us and he made it his mission to get to me.  I did not put up much of a fight.  I began seeing Old School about a month before I finally ended the year long relationship.  I'll admit, not my best moment but it was the only time (and has been the only time) I ever cheated on any boyfriend.  I justified it as "well, he's been sleeping with half the chicks we work with, so it's fine."  For the nine years to follow, Old School was always around when I needed him to be.  He was one I could be just myself around and someone who didn't care if I had my make-up done or was wearing the sexy outfit.  He always made me feel great and wild and free and like there wasn't a care in the world.  We embarked upon sexual adventures that either one of us would suggest and throw ourselves into whole-heartedly.  There was never any embarrassment or self-consciousness when I was with him.  It all ended the night my father was in the hospital, maybe 2 weeks before he died and no one knew what was wrong with him and I needed a friend.  I needed someone to just go and sit somewhere with a drink in hand and just be.  So, I called Old School.  It turned out that he was with his girlfriend at the time and she hated me simply because I was a girl.  He caught attitude with me and I flew off the handle.  The next day, he called to apologize and I sent him to hell in a hand basket.  We didn't speak until a bout 2 months ago when he found me on a dating site and sent me a message of "Can we be friends again?"  All I had to do was read this and realize that I had missed him in my life all this time.  I missed that feeling I had with him.  He said it best when he described why he needed me back in his life "It's like your a drug I can't get enough of and I don't want to run away from."

I miss you, Dad.


Just sitting here talking about Christmas memories with my co-workers and realizing that I have some kick ass memories of my dad at Christmas time.  Sitting up, fast asleep while we tore through presents and my mom ooohh-ed and aahhh-ed at everything we opened.  I miss him.

If a Man Wants You

This is all stuff you learn in hindsight and by the time you hit 35, you wish you would have known it sooner.


If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can’t "be friends."
A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man.
Oh Lord!  If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about baggage. 
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists
of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are, and you’re
always readily available to him—he takes it for granted.
Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies.
You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.


Thursday, December 15, 2011

I Don't Get It

I received an email about the new sitcom that's suppose to start on ABC soon called Work It.  The basis of it is:
According to ABC, the show centers on two unemployed men who have "learned the hard way that the current recession is more of a 'man-cession' and their skills aren't in high demand." One finds out that a pharmaceuticals company is hiring sales reps, but only female sales reps. He goes to the interview dressed in heels, a skirt, and make-up and gets hired as a woman.

When I first saw the commercial for it, I laughed and immediately thought of that 80s sitcom Bosom Buddies with Tom Hanks.  -------------->

For those who don't remember, the basis of Bosom Buddies were these 2 guys looking for a place to live in NYC and the only affordable thing they could find was an apartment building that only rented to woman.  So, they dressed as woman, got the apartment and hilarities ensued.  No one caused an uproar about it then, at least, not that I can remember.  It was a funny show.  That's how Work It looks to me.  I won't say who the email came from but it has it's panties in a twist because "The premise of "Work It" reinforces false and damaging stereotypes about transgender people."  I don't see how.  The 2 guys in questions are obvious dudes who I even believe are married in the show.  They are not trying to really be women.  The way this economy is now, people have to great lengths just to land a job and I feel it's a satire poking fun at the way the world is now.  I just don't see how it's damaging to the transgender community.  I am well aware that members of the transgender community face very real adversities in the workplace as well as in all other areas of life.  But what I don't see how this satire of a show is a damaging stereotype of transgender people.  It's almost as if they are missing the entire point of the show.  Why haven't the extreme feminist come around and said that this show is sexist beyond belief and shows the inequality in the work place between men and women, that women are seen as sex objects and that's why the hypothetical company only wants female sales people?  At what point did we as a society cross over into taking everything so offensively?  When are we going to get to the point of simply accepting human beings for who they are and not what they look like, who they love, what they're wearing, or the damn reality TV show they're on?  I just don't get it anymore...


30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

  • Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

  • Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

  • Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

  • Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

  • Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

  • Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

  • Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

  • Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

  • Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

  • Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.

  • Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

  • Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

  • Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

  • Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

  • Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

  • Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

  • Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

  • Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

  • Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

  • Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.

  • Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

  • Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

  • Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.

  • Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

  • Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

  • Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

  • Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.

  • Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

  • Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

  • Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
  • Aaahhh, f*ck it......

    Wednesday, December 14, 2011

    What Matters


    It took me a long time to be able to do this with my love life.  I'm at a point where I'd rather be happy by myself and keep the company of very few who make me happy than be with someone who doesn't make me their top choice.  

    Monday, December 12, 2011

    "If you support OWS, please remove me from your friend's list. Thank you."

    This was the status update I saw on my Facebook news feed from someone I knew years ago. Everyone who does know me knows I can be vocal about the things I support and I'm always up for a debate.  I've gotten into itover abortion rights, religion, politics, you name it.  I have friends on my list who are very religious, some who are very Republican and some who never see eye to eye with me on any topic but not once have any of them ever said "Delete me because you don't agree with me."  To me, the best debaters and smartest thinkers are the ones who can agree to disagree.  The ones who can take constructive critisism and know that there's more than one view.  I like surrounding myself with all kinds if different people, not just the ones who agree with on everything.  What's the fun in that?  I don't know if I can live in that kind if bubble.

    The Magic of Snowflakes


    This picture reminds me of the story my mom told me of the first time she ever really saw a snowflake.  Now, I'm not talking about ever seeing snow as she grew up in NYC but the first time she ever really saw the uniqueness of a snowflake.  She was 16, already married to my dad and pregnant with me.  It was snowing outside as she was walking to I can't remember where but the flurries made her blink into the winds when she happened to glance at her gloves.  This is when she noticed  the patterns of each of the snowflakes and how beautiful and unique each one was to the next.  She said she had never noticed this before and she felt such wonderment and awe like she had never felt before and with being pregnant for the first time, she felt such immense joy in that moment.  For this, she always called me her miracle snowflake baby. Even at 35, I still feel special.

    Wednesday, December 7, 2011

    Death and Taxes - Fame Festival 2010



    You have to check out this artist's project. Simply awesome!

    Something I learnt about myself this past year


    For years, many of my friends always thought of me as the strong one, the one who never gave in or let the tough times affect me.  And I use to think, "If they only knew..."  We'll this past year has had so much happen that pushed me so far deep in between a rock and a hard place so many times that I thought I would never see the light of happiness again and that I would never fully be able to breathe again.  And yet, here we are at the end of it and everything has already been put in place for an amazing year to come that it makes me smile. The saying really is true.  When it's your only option besides breaking down and giving into the tears, you find out how strong you really are.  I guess my friends saw it before I did.

    Tuesday, December 6, 2011

    A Funny Thing Happened to Me Last Night...


    I recently cut my hair very short and while I love it, I know my dad would have not.  He was old school about certain things and girls having long hair was one of them.  I never really understood that since I can remember my mom having short hair for a majority of my childhood.  Go figure.  So, last night after I fell asleep, I started dreaming.  It was one of those dreams where everything feels so real that you have to question it.  Anyway, I was already in bed watching tv while the girls slept when there was a knock on the door.  I'm wondering who it could be only to find my dad on the other side.  Mind you, my dad passed away February 2006.  He walks in and the first thing he tells me is, "Tasha, I really don't like the hair."  I had to laugh because I knew it was coming after I hug him.  I showed my little apartment.  He commented on the laundry I had to do because he was always after me to clean up more.  hen we talked for a while with me telling him what I had planned for the place when I got my income tax return and he liked my ideas.  Then he told me was proud of me for starting school again and to stick with it.  I don't remember much more but I know he had to vocalize his opinion on my hair. lol  I miss him so much.

    Thursday, December 1, 2011

    Listen to Nike and just do it already!


    And this what I have been doing all year long to be able to look in the mirror come New Year's Day and say, "It's done and over with.  No more bullshit.  It's time to be fabulous again."  This entire year has been me climbing over walls, jumping hurdles and plainly digging my way through it.  Everything is all set up to begin starting in January.  I'm starting school again like I've been wanting to do for so long.  February brings about the re-decorating of the apartment, my birthday, my tattoo and the new car.  March/April will the first official family trip with just me and the girls.  Possible cruise in the summer.  It's looking all golden from over here.  I can't wait!