"Why-o, why-o, why-o, did I ever leave Ohio?" - Back to the Beach

My 17 year old car officially died this morning a few blocks from my home.  So, the ever resourceful me drove it back to my house in reverse because apparently, when the transmission on a car goes, it will still move in reverse.  I then proceeded to load my girls out of the car and hoofed it up the block to catch the bus to make it to my sister's so she could get the girls to daycare and school while I then waited for another bus to start my bus/metrorail/bus commute to work.  And that's just one way.  I almost burst out in tears on the bus to work while listen to Adele's Someone Like You because the Marine Ex just doesn't seem to leave.  He lingers, even with him engaged to his daughter's mother and planning on marrying her when he gets back.  And I think it's not him entirely I miss but the way I was treated and taken care of.  I want that back.  Best Buy guy I back and I know I could easily find that with him but how many times do I need to go through getting my hopes up and him deciding to get serious with Crazy Chick #67 because she has more time than I do with 2 kids?  I'm really beginning to feel like it's hopeless here and I would give anything to get out ans start over somewhere else.  I don't have anything left here for me.  Yes, some family's here but my girls are my family and they are the ones I need to look out for and make things better for.  And how in the hell am I doing that by barely getting by here?  I don't know anymore.  I just wish I'd get an answer from someone, even if it's stating the obvious.