I know I have a serious problem romantising every thing that could or could not be possible happening in my so-called love life. I think I'm more in love with the idea of being in love than actually doing it. I can sit and daydream for hours about possible scenarios with any number of guys that have crossed my path. I know love is something I really want but I have absolutely no clue on how to get it. I have the emotional maturity of a pre-pubescent 12 year old boy. I don't like talking about my feelings. I'm not very touchy-feeley. I prefer taking care of arguments with sex because, really, who can still be mad after a mind blowing orgasm? I don't mind alone time. You want to go out with your friends? Sure, go ahead! I don't need to be attached to someone every hour of the day. Unfortunately, this has led to most of the guys I've ever seriously dated to cheat on me and I have to wonder if it's because I come off as so freaking aloof. I don't mean to be. I know I have a hard time putting things into words but I find it much easier to write a letter to explain myself. But, I do want that waking up to the same man every morning. I want silly conversations over nothing in particular. I want to cook for someone other than my kids. I want those quiet moments you can have with a significant other. I want someone who looks at me and smiles. I want someone who will debate with me (loudly) and know it's not a fight. I want someone to get me birthday presents. I want someone to get birthday presents for. I want someone to be around when I can't dance anymore but will laugh with me about the times we did. Now, if I can only figure out how to do it...
